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Labor and Delivery Funnies

I am a diagnosed birth junkie.  Sean teases me that I keep having children because I love to share my birth stories.  The birth of each child brings a wonderful little tale.  As to not bore you with all six stories, I will share a highlight or two from each birth.

Thomas – To Sean, the most important thing that happened on the day Thomas was born, outside of Thomas being born, of course, is that the US Women’s Hockey Team won the first ever Women’s Hockey Gold Medal.  To my sister Cathy, she reminds us who won the Westminster Kennel Dog Show.  For me, I remember throwing up in a garbage can in the family waiting room in the middle of the night.  I remember sitting on the edge of the delivery bed and Cathy and Sean both telling me to relaxed my curled toes.  Moaning, I replied, "My toes aren’t curled, my hair is."

Nathan – So I am in labor in a the tub having regular contractions, Cathy is sharing with me boys names they have selected if they have a boy.  No doubt she was trying to get my mind off of the contractions.  She told me she loved Benjamin.  And although I love the name all I could think of was the teasing that child would endure when Ben was added to their last name.  I said she could not torture her child like that.

Abigail –  So I have been stock at 8 for a long time and I needed to pitocin to get the labor progressing.  I was in a lot of pain and the contractions were strong and one on top of each other.  Cathy was trying to get me to turn over right in the middle of a strong contraction.  I pushed her away rather strongly and loudly.  My doctor got this shocked look on her face as if her meek and well mannered child had been possessed by a demonic woman.  Then, its time to push this baby out and Sean is busy being sick, taking turns puking and sitting on the toilet.  I told them I was not pushing this baby out until Sean was there to "enjoy the experience".  So Sean came out and looked sick next to me. 

Bethany – I sent Sean to school that Friday and asked him to call after every class to see if I wanted him to come home.  During the day, I called a friend to see if she could watch the children.  But she was experiencing a miscarriage and could not watch the children, but she had set up back up care already.  At  lunch time, Sean calls before his last class.  I ask him to come home instead of going to work after his last class.   I called and ordered Papa John’s Pizza because that is what I wanted to eat.  So I had to eat pizza although I was contracting very irregularily.  …  Later that day, Sean is browning hamburger when I decide that he needs to take the kids to the family who is going to watch them now!!!  He makes the 30 minute round trip and when he gets back we head to the hospital.  … at about 11:00 pm, I realize if baby comes after midnight, I’ll get an extra day in the hospital and more time in the hot tub.   She was born at 12:10…Thanks Bethany

Miriam – oh the joys of having unexpected complications.  So much funny stuff happened.  And I felt like it was all happening around me.  I felt like I was watching it all.  The one thing that still sticks out in my mind is how I felt as they were wheeling me quickly from the back corner room from my emergency c-section.  It was like the Red Sea parting as I was being rushed through.  The funniest thing that I said during my labor is, "Get out the birth plan and throw it out the window."

Olivia – Her birth is just so funny.  There are times that I’ll be driving and think about the whole thing and just laugh.  Just when I think I have controlled myself, I will start thinking of it again and laugh.  It was almost like something you’d see on a tv show.  ….
    Husband rolls wife out of elevator and she is screaming that the baby is coming now.  Nurse looks at Mom in disbelief and encourages her to just breathe.  Mom explains, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND – BABY IS COMING NOW!!!!  Mom is rushed to the room and baby is delivered on the floor.  Mom getting Dad’s attention because Scrapbooking Mom needs a picture of this.

I think one of the great things about labor is that each one is so different, just like our children.  I love each the stories about my children’s births…its the story of the beginning of their life in our home.

2 comments to Labor and Delivery Funnies

  • momatpeace

    This is way easier to read HERE — I was reading this on Google reader… no spaces. ALLRUNTOGETHER!! Well — there were spaces between words, but no paragraphs or anything… I was thinking. SUSAN — what's the deal… were you in a hurry?

    NOPE — silly google… messing with me late at night.


  • Anonymous

    Next baby will be in the car or elevator!


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