God’s Word

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10 Things to Never say to a Pregnant Woman

1.  You are huge. – I personally don’t even think this needs an explanation.  But truth be told this is something you should never say to any woman.

2.  You are so small are you sure you are that far along? – When women get to the end of their pregnancy, they want to be done.  They want to have their baby.  They don’t want to even think of the prospect of having to go extra weeks or having a baby that is underweight.

3.  You have not had that baby yet? – Um, yes, as a matter of fact, I did and now I am pregnant again with another baby.  Did you not get the memo?  Obviously I am still pregnant and have not had the baby.  That is why my belly arrives in the room minutes before the rest of my body does.

4.  When are you going to have that baby? – My guess is that after the contractions have started and are consistent for a few hours and I dilate to 10 and push the baby out.  Then I’ll have delivered the new baby.

5.  I don’t care. – Pregnancy brain is in full effect now and instead of having to make certain decisions, I would much rather you just told me what you would like me to do or what I need to do because I keep forgetting.

6.  Let’s do it my way – What do you mean that I can’t do it this way.  I am not stupid.  I still have a brain here somewhere.  Why do we have to do it your way.  (often 5 and 6 will come in the same sentence because the pregnant woman will give both arguments, its really just the pregnant woman’s way to torture whoever she is talking to at the same time.  Throw in some tears and you have the full effects of pregnancy hormones in one scenario.)

7.  Any phone call where the conversation is only about when the baby is going to arrive. – After receiving yet the 10th call in one day to talk to me it becomes wildly apparent people are not really concerned about me, but rather want to know how soon I think its going to be until this baby comes.  Go back and read the rest of the list.

8.  You should be over your sickness by now. – New Flash, woman lose stomach capacity towards the end of pregnancy as the baby takes over the tummy cavity.  That, combined with a super sensitive sense of smell makes for the great return of nausea and vomiting.

9.  You are going to have your hands full.  How are you ever going to do it all? – First, I will just do the next thing.  Second, its better to speak words of encouragement rather than words of discouragement.  Many other women have had many children.  I won’t be the first and I won’t be the last to deal with this. 

10.  Are you going to call me when that baby comes?
– Um, not if you ask me that question one more time.  Seriously, I am going to call everyone but you.  Yes, you will find out when the baby arrives, either by phone call, e-mail or announcement.  Just remember I’ll be busy adding the new one to the family so I will not be able to talk on the phone or visit very long.  I need my rest.

Come back later to see my list of 10 things you should say to a pregnant woman.

3 comments to 10 Things to Never say to a Pregnant Woman

  • uzbekmom

    Notice how there are no comments.

  • momatpeace

    What about, "Are you having TWINS?"

    sob, sob, sob… (that's me). I never did have twins, but was asked this every stinkin time. (I'm not bitter).

    I'm just convinced that people are idiots. (I'm not bitter).

    If someone asks me one more time if I'm pregnant NOW, I'll sock'em. (I'm not bitter).

    °Ü°

    Oh my… I'm not even pregnant and I have raging hormones… they must be left over, or something. LOL Does that happen after 5? Those hormones just remain forever? OK — bitterness is sin, save the lecture. LOL

    Jennifer

  • momatpeace

    Where is your blog Mary? Ü

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